WHITE CHRISTMAS

Parenting and parenthood

For long I’ve wanted to write about this but I remember that it’s a subject that I’m still a freshman to. With such timid knowledge and experience on the subject matter, I have always felt like a blind man leading those of similar sight as his because of the of the ocean ahead and the deepness of this ‘invisible’ trench. However that within has a way of finding its way out and mostly life must be lived without experience and for that matter we base our truths on knowledge apriori as clarified by Kant. It is this assertion that energises me as if I am holding a can of energy drink to my mouth even though I personally never feel energised after passing a pair of them down my throat.

In my mid-twenties I sometimes feel like I have been too long around on this soggy ball floating in space. One thing that kind of scares (for lack of a better softer word) me is parenthood. Looking around I see lots of peers with little ones and others bellies heavy with life due in a couple of months. Sometimes I feel heartbroken seeing that all time crush flaunting a valuable rock on her middle finger on social media, maybe I was too afraid to pour out my heart for chances are her wall was ‘too high’ for me to climb, maybe her fiery resentful eyes burnt out the lingering emotion yet to be painted to her, all these my ignorance can tell the genuine reason behind it for a go getter nothing can deter them or burn out their minute embers.

Looking around can be so illussioning and sometimes it’s pretty good to stay fixated. Having babies is not bad as I am almost to paint it but do we ever take time to ever figure out this monster by the name parenthood? It may sound easy considering the fact that you are financially stable as most of us think, but hell not. It’s not fear of responsibilities as most tend to reason out but a monster to be thought about twice. Love is such a beautiful thing I know but who the hell made a commandment it must come with babies? For that fact I’m pretty sure that the best parents are scared about parenthood.

What happens when you dive into a pool head first and you don’t know how to swim? I am yet to try but don’t try that  too. So many a times young people have had that Nike mentality that “just do it” and assume rather convince themselves that the rest will follow, trusting in God to drop manner from heaven for us to feed on. A good number of us are fulfilling the purpose our creator put us here on earth for and children are a blessing and damn... we are really ‘blessed’. Its however not having babies that pisses me off rather the way we raise the little ones.

I know we are good at sequencing and series but not all of us were attentive during those Mathematics lessons and even if we were I guarantee you not all of those sermons sank appropriately deep within. Even though we are good at playing with numbers, quality should never be compromised over quantity. Feeding, dressing and schooling them is not alpha and omega but raising them right is. Am about to lecture you like a saint even though am no closer to one but trust me even those who lecture to humanity about humanity mostly aren’t human but what proceeds if you got that conviction?

People will tell you about parenthood; grandmothers, aunts, uncles, friends probably all Dick and Harry your way and mockery will turn to the new greetings when you show no sign or plans of bringing the clans lineage to tangibility. When are you marrying? You mean you are yet to spot somebody? When am I seeing my grandchildren? Can we send your aunties to search you a good responsible mate? Are you ‘normal’? ooh damn never get tired of these questions buddy as long as you are confident you are not yet ready. Don’t fall a victim of circumstances created by societal pressure as if they hold your time bomb which is about to erupt and hurt them. I Know it’s good to take a leap of faith into the dark sometimes but when crafting a young soul into existence that is not really advisable. All that experience and wisdom given to you remember that might not apply for we are dealing with a distinct mind to ever come into being and that is where the horror of the story lies.

Every individual born has a distinct mind and that’s the biggest puzzle of parenthood. As a parent you should be wise enough to craft this soul into what it’s meant to be and not what you wish it to be. No one ever desires to live the life of others unless they are mentally ill and this is a disease brought by wrong parenting...comparison, the ailment that kills us. How do you compare your life to others and wish you were them as if they are by any means above you like a god? Teach your children about success and help them figure out who they are on their way to the top unlike most parents who dictate to their children what to pursue and rule their households with iron fists. But what happens when we realize the little pleasure we were having for the moment turns out into this lifetime burden of responsibilities?

Parenthood is all about time more than resources. Spending time with your children is more valuable than that junk food and all those bars of chocolate and sacks of candy you bring back home. Buying countless toys still isn’t parenthood but proper toilet training is. It is absolutely annoying when adults leave the toilet dirty and do you know how I feel when the same adults leave dirty utensils from whatever spot they ate from? Why should you spill crumbs and leftovers allover in a public restaurant even if there’s  someone employed to clean it? Like what the hell do you even know table manners let alone how to spell it? Where were you raised and who raised you? And all that blame and curses boomerang to parenthood.

Communication is a great skill in the animal kingdom and we humans being of the highest order with a developed system we are highly responsible for what we utter. I can gladly say that we are all intelligent until we open our mouths, yes we are until we open our mouths. About this I won’t say much but damn we should and I insist we should watch our lips. The world is how it is because of our tongues and if we desire any change it would first come from the same tongues. I sincerely hate parents who shout, scorn and scold at innocent babies. It is psychologically wrong to do this to a creature born tabula rasa to the extent of severe recurrent physical correction.. This is adding salt to the wound and if you wanna prove this then watch the adulthood of your mistakes in the name of correction. Mostly these turnout to be the resentful, stubborn and violent creatures from harlem. Who wants such a kid anyway?  A child knows nothing stop yelling and let help them learn right. You have a more challenging responsibility to teach them organisational skills and not yell from whatever corner you are and that's parenthood.

Lastly before I lay this heavy head on the pillow I would like to remind you parent or wannabe parent that the world is composed of societies. Remember 99% of the problems on earth have been created by adults which in turn boils down to wrong parenting therefore don’t blame society. Therefore before you rock yourself to that pleasure, better equip yourself with the relevant appropriate social skills to pass on to that toddler you are about to create amidst those endless moans and groans.